awinterbornrose: (Thrandy)
And here we go, as usual, my snark/commentary is in purple.

Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably.

Edward, you are already in love with Bella, and the attraction you feel is to her bacon scent. After all, you did say she was “interesting” looking. Also, attraction and love aren't tied up.

I had no idea if Bella was attracted to me.

Here, I’ll answer that for you: Yes, she is. Just like every single female in this series (except the Cullen girls).

It seemed unlikely that Bella could be entertaining the same kind of thoughts that Jessica Stanley used to have.

Yes, she does.

And yet…as I remembered those fantasies that used to repulse me, but remembered with Bella instead of Jessica’s place.

Oh wow.

How hypocritical of Edward, Jessica CAN’T have fantasies that most teens have, but Bella can. And another thing, shouldn’t they also bother you? Oh wait, I forgot you’re in love, thus, is ok.

Attraction was an impossible dilemma, because I was already too attracted to Bella in the worst way.

Yes you want to nom her.

The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddied.

I’m going to disagree with you, Edward. The “love” didn’t come purely, because it’s not love, it’s obsession. Two very different things, you see, you feel attracted to her for her scent and you’re curious since you can’t read her mind. But that doesn’t mean you love her.

They wouldn’t let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.

Dude, you read minds. It’s practically cheating.

Upstairs, Esme paused what she was doing and cocked her head to the side.

Meyer, Edward can’t know she cocked her head unless he sees her do it. One of the big rules of first point of view and you don’t know it? Why am I not surprised?

Edward is playing again, Esme thought joyously, a smile breaking across her face.

What did I just say? He’s a mind reader, he’s not omnipresent you know?

Why killing Isabella Swan had not bothered her conscience at all.
With Rosalie, it was always about vanity.

Seriously Meyer, seriously?

She’ll have to love you back. If she’s a bright girl. But I can’t imagine anyone being so slow they couldn’t see the catch you are.

[Note: the quote was cut and pasted in pieces, I wanted to show Esme’s thoughts]
Gee, Meyer. By those standards I guess I’m slow…
Oh yeah wait, no. I have a brain and I think Edward is an asshole and a pretentious one at that.

“But I want to know”
I laughed at the whining tone she put one.

Alice, there’s thing called private conversations. Also, some people would call you rude for being so intrusive (I’d be one of those).

Rosalie actually thought the girl was plain. How could she believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of jealousy, no doubt.

Edward, before her bacon scent hit you, you called her “interesting”. You only thought her beautiful after Alice informed you of her vision and her scent hit you.

So there.

“Fires and earthquakes and tornados! Ugh! When was the last time you watched the news? Have you seen the kind of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides…”
“Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks remember? So she gets rained on.”

Edward’s a worry rat XD and holy Hades, dude chill and Emmett displays common sense. Good on you, Emmett.

“Well, I can’t really see Rosalie’s allure, either,” I said rudely.

Wish fulfillment. I have to constantly remind myself that this series is sorely for Meyer’s wish fulfillment.

“Alice would call if there was any basis for your panic attack. She’s as weird about this girl as you are.”

Emmett, thank you for having common sense. I’d buy you a beer, but you can’t drink it.

“There’s no point in hurrying back—it’s going to be sunny, anyway. Alice said we were free from school until Wednesday.”

Please explain me how they pass with all those absences.

Exactly like a crazy person.

Emmett says it like it is. Thank you man.

I remembered the oil this time…[goes on and he's breaking into Bella's room btw]

God you’re such a creep.

She had her hands folded under her cheek like a small child, her mouth was slightly open.

Yay for childlike descriptions of Bella.

Nothing was right when I was away from her.

Clingy much? Why does Edward make everything so dramatic? I’ll never understand Meyer’s way of thinking.

I didn’t own her. She wasn’t mine.

Did you forget this bit on the following books? ‘Cause, damn, you went overboard.

I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not she had fallen in the ocean.

We get it Meyer, we do: Bella’s a danger to herself.

I was angry with the sun when it began to rise.

Dude, you have issues.

Why would Bella have come to sit here alone—and she had been alone, no doubt about that—in the middle of the wet, murky forest?

Some people enjoy nature? I’m trying to be helpful here.

Not only did she have bad luck, but she courted it.

Dear Meyer: O rly? Can you please stop that? It’s really annoying, being klutzy and having bad luck aren’t character flaws.
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