awinterbornrose: (Boogie)
And onwards we go, we're down to one chapter left! Also as usual, snark/commentary is in purple.

I’d left Bella’s room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.

You can’t stand an hour away from her? Dude, you’re pathetic. Oh, and by the way, this isn’t romantic at all.

You should know, though, this isn’t just me being selfish. Bella’s going to like me, too.

Don’t you love how certain Alice is about her visions?
What Bella wanted and what was best for Bella were two very separate things.

Funny that it’s you making that decision.

Her mouth turned down. “Do I react badly?”
“No, that’s the problem. You take everything so coolly—it’s unnatural.”

That’s ‘cause she’s a Mary Sue.

“Ostentatious, isn’t it?”
“Like I said, ostentatious. We try to fit in.”

Newsflash Edward, you guys are rich in a small town, drive BMWs, Mercedes, Porsches and God knows what else, Alice wears designer and none of you repeat clothes twice.

You don’t fake it very well.

I should be polite to Bella’s friends, whether they were good friends or not.

You should be polite to people, end of story.

She handed me the jacket, and put her arms through her own, without looking up to see that my hands were extended to assist.

If you wanted to help, say it out loud.

Of course I was watching Bella. That was becoming natural—as automatic as breathing.

Get another hobby. Please and thank you.

And then, we have Jessica interrogating Bella for all that’s worth. Boring really, apparently, men and women can’t be friends and have dinner without any romantic reasons.

I’m so bored and thankful this crap is almost over.

How could she not realize that I was in love with her?

You don't talk to her much, she doesn't know you, you haven’t asked her out, you've barely have begun talking to one another. I could go on, really. So far, you two are [somewhat] friends. People don’t assume their friends want to bone them

“Oh well,” Jessica sighed. “He’s so unbelievably gorgeous.”
Bella’s face was suddenly colder. Her eyes flashed the same way they did when she resented some injustice.

Behold! Bella’s jealousy.

“There’s a lot more of him than that.” Bella snapped.

Question Bella: How the fuck is Jessica supposed to know this? Because in case you hadn’t notice, he’s a jerk to everyone and didn’t speak to no one until you and your bacon scent arrived, so kindly explain what you mean.

“But he’s even more unbelievable behind the face.”

Someone please explain this phrase to me. I don’t get it.
Meyer, if you wanted to make allusions to Edward being a great person, you failed miserably at this. Because so far, he’s been nothing but a douche.

Sell stupid somewhere else—there’s nothing better than that face

Don’t you just love how Meyer reduces every female in this series but Bella to mindless, vain, and superficial idiots?
Don’t you just love it? [Sarcasm: Just another free service I offer.]

More than he likes me? How did she come up with that? But I don’t see how I can help with that. What was that supposed to mean?

1.- You’ve been horribly rude towards her, to begin with.
2.- You ignore her for almost a month.
3.- You throw her insults to her by calling her “not smart” and stuff like that.
4.- You don’t talk to her, save for recently.

I had no patience for her obsessive thoughts about Mike Newton.

And I don’t have patience for your obsession for Bella, so there.

She didn’t say anything until I was assembling her lunch.

Dude, she can do it herself.

How many times had I imagined crippling Mike Newton in the biology room?

And people like this guy? Man, we’re doomed.

“Yes, I really think that,” she said without looking up. There was a faint undertone of sadness in her voice.

That because she’s so in love with you, Edward! She can bear to love you so much while you don’t care. Can’t you see it?! Can you?!

“You’re wrong.” I promised.
Bella looked up to me, her eyes opaque, giving nothing away. “You can’t know that.”

Oh, Bella, don’t be silly. He loves you so much, he watches you in your sleep. Isn’t that enough?

[Man, it was creepy to write that way.]

“Well, look at me,” she said.
I was looking. All I ever did was look at her. What did she mean?
“I’m absolutely ordinary,” she explained.

Bella, you have nearly every male in the near vicinity wanting you, don’t pull that bullshit.

I’d believe you if no one would pay attention to, if they were rude to you, if they ignored you… you see were I’m going, right? Also, what is her problem with being ordinary? Extraordinary people aren't born, they emerge by standing for things they believe in, by fighting for those who have none, by chosing to do an act of great bravery. Extraordinary isn't born, it's made and we all have potential for it.

How could she not realize that she was the most beautiful…most expensive…

Because she’s the average girl, right? She doesn’t think she’s good enough. Oh no, she’s just plain, old, boring Bella.

Her existence alone was excuse enough to justify the creation of the whole world.

Ok no. Just no.

Listen to me Meyer, and listen to me carefully.
Just because YOU think Bella alone should be worth more than the lives of billions of other people, it doesn’t make it so.

Among those people, there are some who have done great things for this world and its people. It’s arrogant and honestly disgusting to me, to say that Bella alone is worth the creation of the world. Even if it's only Edward thinking it. I do not care, there are people far more worthy than Bella.

Keep dreaming bitch.

I could show her the real me, if I was brave enough to endure her horror and disgust.

Dude, at the most she could burst out in laughter (if she were normal). Seriously, I’d die laughing if I were to watch Edward sparkle.

“Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.”

Dude, cars aren’t sentient things, you could provoke an accident with the speed, or you could slip, or run over someone… possibilities are endless.

Edward! Alice protested shrilly. I love her Edward!

Oh, really
Alice, you do? Why?

No, seriously, please tell me why. A vision alone isn’t enough to make some love another, I want a VALID reason.

She didn’t love Bella the way I did.

Of course she doesn’t, silly.

“But apparently your number wasn’t up in Phoenix,” I said, cutting off her justifications. “So I’d rather you stayed with me.”

How do you know? I mean, you haven’t talk about her life in Phoenix, so really, how do you know?

No—because her instincts were backwards.

No shock here, I’d say.

“You should tell Charlie, though.”
“Why in the world would I do that?” she asked, sounding horrified.

‘Cause he’s your dad and you live under his roof?

Just saying.

“You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you.”

I’m very tired of Edward’s bullshit, on his “fear me, but I can’t let you g, fear me” thing.
Annoying really.
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