awinterbornrose: (Carrie2)
2017-05-31 12:54 am

Leah Clearwater: Accidental Sympathetic Character

Summary: A look at Leah Clearwater and the troubles that mark her.
Warnings: Many things will probably make you want to head desk. You have been warned.
Author’s Notes: Oh lord, I had to restrain myself. I really had to. Anyway, commentary and criticism is highly encouraged. Also, this is the first on a series of essays regarding the issues on everything that’s wrong with Twilight.

Ah Leah, poor old, spinster, resentful, reckless and spiteful Leah. Leah, the Bitch. Leah, the one we aren’t meant to like and yet, quite accidentally, we do. Leah, the holder of grudges, Leah the ‘one who ruins things’. Poor thing.


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awinterbornrose: (abel)
2017-05-19 09:35 pm
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12.- Complications

We did it kids, the last chapter! My snark/commentary is in italics now.

It was oddly consoling to know I wasn’t the only one living out a tragic love story. Heartbreak was everywhere.
 
 
Gee, dramatic much?
But I will say this, poor Angela suffering for Ben… is every female on this series unhappy without a man? Wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer.
 
Geez.

 
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awinterbornrose: (Boogie)
2017-05-12 01:34 pm
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Chapter 11. Interrogations.

And onwards we go, we're down to one chapter left! Also as usual, snark/commentary is in purple.

I’d left Bella’s room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.

 
You can’t stand an hour away from her? Dude, you’re pathetic. Oh, and by the way, this isn’t romantic at all.


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awinterbornrose: (Tony2)
2017-05-09 04:51 pm
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10.- Theory

Welcome again, as usual my snark/commentary is in purple.

“I thought we were past all the evasiveness,” she said, her tone critical and disappointed.

 
Dear Bella, you’ve been friends for a grand total of two weeks, maybe? And you just expect him to cough up everything you want to know?
 
Good one.


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awinterbornrose: (Cassian)
2017-05-05 08:27 pm
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9.- Port Angels

As per usual, my snark is in purple. Have fun.

Oh man, this chapter doesn’t start well; it starts of course with female cattiness.

 
Bella still looks pissed. Ha ha. I can’t believe she’s so upset about it, though. At least she has a back up date for the prom.

 
Does he think she’s prettier than me? Does she think she’s prettier than me?
Does she really think that? Or does she want me to look like a cow on Saturday.

 
Ahh the fresh smell of female insecurity and cattiness. I love this series. [Mind my sarcasm ladies and gents.]


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awinterbornrose: (Cassian)
2017-05-04 03:23 pm
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8. Ghost

And here we go again, as usual, snark & commentary is in purple.

I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession.

 
Because that is totally not creepy at all.


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awinterbornrose: (Thrandy)
2017-05-02 11:40 am
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7.- Melody

And here we go, as usual, my snark/commentary is in purple.

Attraction.
 
Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably.

 
Edward, you are already in love with Bella, and the attraction you feel is to her bacon scent. After all, you did say she was “interesting” looking. Also, attraction and love aren't tied up.

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awinterbornrose: (Purple Moon)
2017-04-29 02:29 pm
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6.- Blood Type.

And here we go again, good news tho, we're halfway in the book, so yay. As usual, snark in purple.

Not Mike Newton’s eyes, because I couldn’t stand any more of his offensive fantasies, and not Jessica Stanley’s, because her resentment towards Bella made me angry in a way that was not safe for the pretty girl.

 
On Mike: Teenager have hormones, teenager have fantasies. Get the fuck over it, I refuse to believe in all the years that Edward’s been alive he hasn’t “seen” any fantasies… oh wait, my bad. None of those involved Bella.
 

On Jessica: Edward, thoughts and actions are two very different things. Learn to know how to make a difference on that.


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awinterbornrose: (Lady)
2017-04-28 05:47 pm
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5.- Invitation

And onward we go! As usual, snark and commentary in purple.


High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire…yes, I had both.

 
Dear Meyer, would you kindly stfu about high school= purgatory/hell? It’s annoying, and your miserable attempt of making a martyr out of Edward is failing miserably. Also, he could drop classes.


 
 
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awinterbornrose: (Tony)
2017-04-26 11:42 am
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4.- Visions

And here we go again, good news, it's a small chapter this one. As per usual, my snark & commentary is in purple.

Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed vampire stalker.

 
And here, ladies and gentlemen is when the downward spiral begins. Brace yourselves and fetch your liquor of choice.


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awinterbornrose: (Six)
2017-04-25 12:11 pm
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3.- Phenomenon

And on we go with chapter 3, as per usual my snark and commentary is in purple.

"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted.

No, the whole issue does not reduce itself at Edward being a coward. But, he is already 'intrigued' with her scent.


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awinterbornrose: (Carrie)
2017-04-22 09:53 pm
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2.- Open Book

And here you go everybody, second chapter from hell. As usual, my snark is in purple.

The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn’t quite seem to banish it from my mind.
 

While this quote is completely unremarkable, for me, it signals the obsession he'd develop on Bella. And yes, I'm not afraid to call it obsession.

 
Her thoughts were chagrined.
 

Ah and there it is, Meyer's favorite word.
 


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awinterbornrose: (Cassian)
2017-04-21 04:31 am
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First Sight

And so, we begin our snark of "Midnight Sun", the book has Edward's point of view - which is nightmarish enough. But luckily, it's only 12 chapters since Meyer threw a hissy fit and didn't finished it. Word to the wise, good luck my friend and good speed when reading.

My snarkery and commentary is in purple. White is actual quotes.

High School. Or was purgatory the right word? If there was any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure.

No. You listen to me you little shit. High school is in no way whatsoever a way to atone your sins. You killed people. You went on a vigilante inspired kills, so excuse me while I don't see it as a way to atone your sins. In fact, nothing and I repeat NOTHING you do comes even close to atoning your sins.
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