A little frustrated

[awinterbornrose]

 I have to confess that I'm a little annoyed.

I found the draft for an old children's story today, and it's about a princess and a talking dragon. What frustrates me is, that before all this crap (and by that I mean my migraines) happened, I used to write a lot, a HELL of a lot more than I do now. And now, it just feels like I barely remember what I do in the day, and barely coming up with little drabbles here and there.

It's incredibly annoying. I miss my old brain, I miss to be able to write without having to overthink, I miss not needing a prompt table or a list, I miss creating as freely as I used to do, I miss not struggling to write 500 words. I just... I don't know, I feel like crap.

Comments

[swiftsnowmane]

Aww, yes, in the case of the migraines, that is indeed something you can't just analyze away. :( I'm so sorry you are going through that -- I experience tension and stress headaches (if I have one in a morning or afternoon, it can destroy any chance of doing anything creative or productive for that entire day), and those are painful and debilitating enough as it is, so I can only imagine how incredibly awful and frustrating it is to be having frequent migraines. *gentle hugs to you*

The feedback thing is another one that is hard to just push through, because it is, well, dependent on other people. And imo, getting feedback from a beta is not always helpful either, as they are reading with a critical/helpful eye, rather than just outright appreciation. I wonder if it could help to share bits and pieces with people we trust (friends, not just betas), and get regular feedback that way, just so that it doesn't feel like we are writing into a complete void the whole way through. I sometimes hate to feel like I'm begging for reassurance from people, but at the same time.... sometimes it really is the only way to keep going.

[awinterbornrose]

Yeah, migraines have had a rather devastating effect on my life. If I get one, I spend several days, dazzled, with a heavy head and other after effects, so goodbye productivity. Thank you for the hugs, hugs to you too, stress headaches aren't a walk in the park either.

Tell me about it, I occasionally get Kudos, but rarely a comment. I actually created an account for my fics separated from this one, since I wanted to concentrate on fics on their own there; and joined an ASOIAF writing community, so I'm hoping some creativity hits.

I sometimes hate to feel like I'm begging for reassurance from people, but at the same time.... sometimes it really is the only way to keep going.

Amen.

[swiftsnowmane]

Such a heartbreaking situation for you, I am so incredibly sorry you have to go through this. :'(

And having an account just for fics actually makes sense. I'm so glad you found that asoiaf writing community as well, I hope it helps a bit.

I also just encountered a community on here called 'write this fanfic'. I don't know if it would helpful at all, but here's the link just in case! :)

https://writethisfanfic.dreamwidth.org/

[awinterbornrose]

Thank you, I won't deny it's been hard, but you know, I have to keep going. Not going to quit.

Yeah, I'm much more organised that way if I'm honest. The asoiaf comm is managed by a friend, so I know it's a safe bet.

I will check the community, thank you!

[swiftsnowmane]

I'm so glad you aren't giving up! I have really enjoyed the fics and poems of yours that I've read! :)

And I may or may not participate in that comm at some point, too -- for now, just keeping an eye on it and seeing how it goes. :)

[awinterbornrose]

Yeah, I just honestly can't give up. And thank you, I appreciate it!

Nice, I'm also keeping my eye on it too.